Tuesday, 23 February 2016
12 things all drunk girls can relate to
One of my favourite things to do at the moment is to get white girl wasted so OBVS I needed to write this post, like really really needed to. If you can relate to 3 of these points, we should be best friends, just saying.
1) Having a few glasses of wine whilst getting ready, feeling super confident and wearing a brand new lipstick that looks incredible until the next day when you check your tagged photos on Facebook and mistake yourself for Ronald McDonald.
2) Meeting girls in the toilet who you literally want to be bezzies with for life then seeing them the next day in town where you both completely blank each other.
3) When you get completely blinded thinking a boy is really funny and really gorgeous and then you wake up with him the morning after and want to drink an ice cold pint of bleach because you need cleansing from the inside.
4) Taking an umbrella out with you because you don't want your fake tan to run but then you get to pub number four and the jagerbomb kicks in and makes you think you're beautiful, wet hair is a good look on you and nobody will even notice that your skin looks like it's covered in Bisto. FUCK THE UMBRELLA.
5) When you wake up vaguely remembering kissing someone the night before and asking him to add you on Facebook only to log into Facebook and see that 40 year old beer bellied Roger has liked all your photos and commented "thanks for last night xx" on your wall.
6) MOVE OVER ZOELLA. In fact, fuck it. Let me spend all my money on triple vodkas, my snapchat story shows I'm a good vlogger and it'll make me famous in the morning anyway. Zoella WHO?
7) Accepting a drink off a boy and then feeling like you have to talk to him for the rest of the night just in case he thinks you're a money grabber.
8) Falling over, shielding yourself with your hair, feeling like Mariah Carey minus the sunglasses but your friend politely reminds you the morning after that you actually looked more Humpty Dumpty and everyone was laughing at you. Fab.
9) "Have cheesy chips and mayo always tasted this amazing? Why have I not been eating this every single day?!" then you go back the next day, order exactly the same thing and your chips are dry, the cheese tastes like plastic and you even get a stray dog hair thrown in for free.
10) Going through your whole wardrobe before you go out while looking at previous night out photos on your phone to make sure you don't wear the same outfit as the week before because that would be devastating.
11) Waking up the next morning, going through your phone only to realise you've messaged your Mum at 3am telling her you love her, repeatedly told people 'i'm dying' and sent a photo of you trying to look sexy with patchy lipstick and rolled back eyes to the boy you fancy. Thanks, alcohol.
12) That moment when you get home and rip your fake eyelashes off, feeling like the absolute Queen of the world, nothing feels better than what you do right now. Fast forward four hours to you waking up dribbling with one eyelash stuck to your cheek.